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To All My Faithful Readers... You're Fucked   
04:09am 26/02/2005
  So, as I'm sure SO MANY of you noticed, I haven't been posting on here lately. Fact of the matter is... I'm cheating... On you... I've pretty much been wasting my time at myspace.com instead of here. So, if you want, you can check in on me over there (although there are like, 2 people on here that actually read this, and they already know about it) and of course my email address for there is AVinylFetish@aol.com and that's also my IM. So, this pretty much ends my reign of terror here... Maybe I'll stop in every once in awhile, just to check in and make sure things haven't gotten out of control... Otherwise, auf wedhersen!  
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God Has Cursed Me With The Plague...   
12:26am 05/02/2005
 
mood: Circut Overload?
Ok, maybe not quite the plague, but I am a very sick indivdual due to a number of different reasons that would just take to long to explain right now. Point being, went to the Dr. today, left with 6 new prescriptions... So now I take... 10 prescriptions? Damn I'm fucked... Went over to Susie's to try to score some "clean" urine... No actually I needed to do a urine sample, and for some reason I had to wait 2 hours since the last time I went to do it, so her house just happened to be the closest (plus I got to take advantage of the comfort of her bathroom opposed to Kaisers public one). Met Autumn at Green House Cafe for dinner at the mall. This evening I watched The Manchurian Candidate (old version of course). So...?
 
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Random Nonsense   
03:37am 04/02/2005
 
mood: Hyper, But Not Really
Uhm, let's see... Tuesday I had Rock & Roll, ate at Quizno's, went to Statistics. Same old crap. Wednesday I went to Rock & Roll, ate at Camille's, had Statistics, then went to Target for a bit. Can you believe I left Target with only a bag of dog food in my hands? I actually bought just the one item I intended on buying! Today I had Rock & Roll, screwed around in the computer lab (everyone in there always smells bad. Today it smelled really, really strongly of stale pot. You know how clothes smell nasty after someone's been smoking pot, or even cigars? Well this was really, really bad. Usually the people in there just smell homeless, like they haven't bathed in months. Which they probably haven't), then went to the library. Was looking in the reference section and came across the DSM-IV-TR, which I learned all about in Psychology 101 as being the diagnostic tool of mental disorders. I've always been told, and believed that I have Borderline Personality Disorder, and last night I took an online test on Psychologytoday.com and it confirmed that. I look it up in the book, and sure enough, it sounds like me (right down to valuing animals and inatiment objects more than people). This evening my Mom and I went to Target (still didn't leave with a whole lot), El Torito for dinner, then to see "The Aviator" which was excellent. Proved that maybe I have more mental disorders than I thought... But still really good.
 
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Uhm... Leave Me Alone?   
12:23am 01/02/2005
 
mood: Annoyed
Slept until I had class. I had class. It sucked. Statistics. Probably failed another one (but at least there were a bunch of people this time who turned in blank papers because they didn't understand it). Went to have my monthly blood test, which I haven't had in about 3 months... I know it's going to be bad, I'm going to get a long ass call from the Dr., going to get yelled at by my parents, harrased by extended family, and will just become more discouraged and sink deeper into a state of disrepair. Shall I go write you some sad poetry or play a violin? But, besides that, all I did tonight was go to Panera Bread to be harrassed by that one guy who works there...
 
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Sleep Deprivation Is A Cruel Game   
10:57pm 30/01/2005
 
mood: Still Sleepy...
So yesterday Autumn and I went to hang out down at Brandon and Brock's. Brock was gone most of the time, so we just did stuff with Brandon. Went to some various Asian stores called Giant Robot (I think?). Had fun at the Asian market poking fish eyes and staring at the weird dehydrated foods. Went to Hurry Curry again for dinner. Back at the apartment, after all this time, I finally saw Fight Club, which I really, really liked, but already knew the ending too (which one of you bastards spoiled it for me? You're lucky I can't remember...). Autumn kept throwing stuff at me this morning so I had to wake up very, very early (11ish?) and drive home very, very tired. I just took a shower and went to bed until 6:30 this evening. See what happens when I miss my sleeping pills for a night, and then somebody kicks me out of bed to drive her home? I'm going to have to start a fight club... Oh wait. My "friend" and I already argue at 5, 6 in the morning when I can't sleep... They always seem to want to make me go hurt people, and when I can't sleep, what else can I do? Hey, that movie was a total rip-off of my insomnia filled nights!!! I should be getting royalties or something...
 
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Blast...   
01:12am 29/01/2005
 
mood: German Measles
Had a dentist appointment today at which I was told I need 8 or more fillings, a root canal, bleaching done from the inside, and all 4 wisdom teeth surgically extracted (they're under the skin). So that hella pisses me off. Yeah... Went to Target for a very, very long time. Went to Bed Bath & Beyond and FINALLY found one of those stress balls that you squeeze and it's like sand (I've been needing one. So. Desperatly). Walked around and looked at crap in some random crappy stores. Drove to look at crap at some random crappy stores. Had dinner at El Torito where I've decided that the hostess that usually seats me totally wants me... That's right, I'm that good... Or she's just really bored at work... Oh well. Hmmm... I guess that's all, besides the fact that I now have a strange unrelated rash on my neck.
 
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Fucking Weak Man...   
12:43am 28/01/2005
 
mood: Itchy As A Whore's Vagina
This morning I had Rock & Roll, which ends at 3 and I had not to be at my next destination until 7 something. So, I went to the computer lab and screwed around online for a fairly large amount of time, but was stuck at the computer right next to the computer lab lady's desk (and here I thought I could look at porn for a few hours) and she kept talking to anyone and everyone very loudly. Went over to the library to get an assload of CD's for my term project. Still had plenty of time on my hands, so I thought I'd make another run at the gym thing. I lasted about... 20 minutes? Still had loads of time, so I just sat in my car listening to some CD's, trying to figure out how I'm going to organize this project thing by next week... Met my parents at Don Cuco's where they "convinced" me that I needed to try out my new credit card... Lousy mooching bastards... We all went to see "Sideways." Weakest fucking movie ever. Seriously. Total crap. Boring as hell. "How can this be nominated for best picture" and swear inducing. God I hate the people who run the academy. Fucking morons. Every. Last. One. Of. Them. But in other news... About a week and a half ago I was looking for something under my sink, and I came across 2 or 3 year old cold wax strips. You know the kind? You just peel them apart and slap 'em on? Well, I tried one on my lower back, because frankly I hate that blonde peach fuzz shit that normal women probably don't even have. Next day I had maybe 1 or 2 spots. Couple of days later, didn't really pay much attention, but noticed my back was awfully itchy. Today I was writhing in misery because it was so god damned itchy, and I look in the mirror and I have this nasty, horrible, raised, splotchy, itchy, gross, unnatractive rash. It is bloody horrible!!! I ought to sue them bastards! It's probably going to leave scars or something, and who honestly digs a chick with scars (unless they're cool like from a knife fight with a hobo or something. not rash scars)? God just manages to find more and more ways to physically fuck me, doesn't he?
 
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12:21am 27/01/2005
 
mood: Like Vomiting
Today I had Rock & Roll (yeah, this is going to be one of THOSE posts where I say the EXACT same thing I said on this day a week ago because I did the same EXACT things in the same EXACT order), had time to piss away so I spent it at the computer lab writing about smelly people sitting around me, went to Camille's for linner, went to Statistics, blah, blah, blah... Finally grabbed a radar detector on the way home, but have yet to put it in my car. Right now I feel like I'm going to vomit for some reason. Yup, real exciting stuff here...
 
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Oh Yeah, I Rule All Of The Dining Establishments In This Town...   
01:36am 26/01/2005
 
mood: Weight... Decreasing... Again
So I managed to go to sleep and wake up with myself fairly intact. Went to Rock & Roll and got my midterm back. I got 95 % so screw you all! After that class, which seemed to just drag on for an eternity today, I went over to Quizno's for linner. So there I am; I have to seperate "Q cards," one with 6 stamps on it, the other with 4, so I just ask her to combine then for my free food and give me a new card with 1 stamp on it. She looks at them, looks at me (seeing that I'm the loyal customer that sits in their establishment for hours on end drinking all the soda one can possibly consume), at just takes the one with 6 stamps and gives me the one with 4 back! Yes, I'm that good... You see, you have to build up a reputation to get rewards (although that doesn't make much sense, because you would think they would want me to not be encouraged to hang out there so much). Had to go back to Statistics tonight... Blah, I just want to avoid that whole situation for right now... Went to Circut City and Best Buy, but neither had "just what I needed," even though Circut City uses that as their logo... And that just about brings me up to this point in time, which is pretty much crap.
 
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Man I Suck...   
12:16am 25/01/2005
 
mood: Like I Said: Shit
So I went to math today and took an F and left because I couldn't understand anything. Why bother sitting there pretending I know what I'm doing if I have no idea? Yeah, I'm a failure and should probably just shoot myself in the face and get it over with... Other than that I've just been sitting around crying over that and other things, namely my impending loneliness... I feel like shit right now...
 
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Wow, I Was Actually Busy The Entire Weekend. Now Back To Crappy Reality...   
01:35am 24/01/2005
 
mood: Dying From Sleep Deprevation
Yesterday I drove down to Brock and Brandon's apartment to pick up latter person. We went to Fry's to look for a radar detector, but those assholes claimed they were a small store so they didn't carry a lot... Pssh... Whatever, that store is fairly big. We sorta got lost and just drove around Inglewood and other gang infested areas because Brandon is like totally unaware of where he lives and how to get around an area like 2 miles from his place. Fortunatly, I'm a genius and can get out of any sticky situation, and found Fairfax where I then swerved off the road and announced that I was hungry and that we were eating at Canters. After that we came back to my house, picked up my Mom and headed over to Autumn's for Rachel's birthday party. After awhile Brandon left with Dave and Kathy because Bryce really wanted him to stay over at their house. Martin, Jason, Autumn and I played Tabloid Teaser for so fucking long we eventually just gave up and called it a 3 way tie (I wasn't even close to the finish). But you could tell we were all getting worn out when we would write the headline "fuck you guys. I'm tired so this fucking game is over." Took Jason home. Didn't get home until about 12:30 and then I had to wake up at 11:30... Met Dave and Brandon at the park and ride so I could take Brandon from there. I had this volunteer appreciation thing to go to in Altadena, so I just took him with me. And that was fine because we stayed for like 10 minutes. It's a 20,000 sq ft house, and they have everything roped of except for like 2 rooms. And it was boring, so we just left. Got totally and completely lost (every time I go near Pasadena, I swear...) and ended up heading to San Bernadino and were in Glendora or some equally unrecognizable city. Eventually found our way, but I took Wilshire thinking it would be quicker than the 101 traffic, but... So we finally got back to his place. He, Brock and I just hung out in their apartment for a number of hours. Later on we went over to their friends place (2 guys and a girl who I think all go to the same school as them). We all met up at some Japanese place in Santa Monica called Hurry Curry, and I actually had some decent curry tofu. Went back to the couples place and just meandered around there. Brandon and I went home ahead of Brock, and Brandon doesn't have a key to the apartment, so we went and sat down in the neighbors living room. They were fucking hilarious. It's these 3 guys, and one of them sees this kid on tv and he's just like "they look of that kid pisses me off. I just want to go up and smack him in the back of the head." My sentiments exactly... Went over once Brock got home, but I left fairly soon after, as I was falling asleep in the neighbors living room. And now I just got home, I want to go take a shower, but can't because I'm to god damned lazy and tired to get out of this fucking chair. Maybe I'll just sleep here in the upright position...
 
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12:23am 21/01/2005
 
mood: Worn Out
Today I had my (sigh) midterm in Rock & Roll. Already!!! It really is suprising to realize that the semester is half over, when I feel like I just started (and I did actually). It was actually kind of hard. It's like, he'll play a song and we have to identify whether it has country blues, urban blues or acoustic blues backgrounds. It was easier once we got into the late 60's though. I went to the computer lab for a couple of minutes. Had lunch (yes, I actually had lunch seperate from dinner. No linner!) at Jack In The Box. Went to the library to pick up some CD's I need for my term project, but only 2 out of like 10 came. On the way home Kathy and Bryce were driving next to me, so they followed me to the gas station. Kathy asked me a question about Brandon's decision on something that I had talked to him about, but I have no idea how she found out. I mean, I don't care or anything, it was just odd that she would no something I didn't mention to anyone (unless of course they've talked to him, but I don't think they talk that often). Went home and loafed around for awhile, talked to Jason. This evening I went with my Mom to meet my Dad at the cheap theater to see "Ray." It was way to long, and those seats are way to hard... My Mom and I drove to several restaruants to find dinner (even Taco Bell for christs sake), but everything had just closed. Ended up having to eat at Denny's....
 
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Back By Popular Demand (Wait, Jason IS Popular, Right?)   
12:52am 20/01/2005
 
mood: Oddly Hyper
Ok, ok. I've been getting many complaints (and by many, I mean 1), that I haven't been updating enough. Let me try to remedy this with a recap of what you have all missed: Monday my Mom and I went over to Susie's to get my calenders (holy crap! Autumn was actually home! And Kathy and Bryce were there for some reason as well). Get this: Kathy worries about Brandon's health, his living right, going to school, etc. Autumn heard that I talked to him, and told Kathy. Kathy said him and I should hang out amongst one another because she thinks (hahaha...) THAT I WOULD BE A GOOD INFLUENCE ON HIM!!! She said he needs a motherly figure! She wants ME to be good for him!!! Autumn and I were laughing, and when I told my Mom later on, she thought Kathy had been kidding. Like I was saying to Autumn "Me? A good influence? I'd be like 'hey Brandon, go break into that building for me,'" as that is the way Autumn and I always have our days turn out. I am like, probably in need of HIS influence, more than he of mine. Seriously, that just cracked us all up (what COULD she be thinking?). So after that we ran around for some errands, got my haircut, had dinner at Panera, then I went to Barnes & Noble while my Mom went to the gym (you see, she is without car, so I have to drive her everywhere for the time being). Yesterday I had Rock & Roll, went to Quizno's for linner, Statistics, Target and Barnes & Noble. Today I had Rock & Roll (FINALLY; We're getting to the good stuff like the Rolling Stones, etc.). Had lots of time on my hands, so I went to the computer lab and screwed around online. Went to Camille's for linner (they fucked up my order, so I got a free cookie!!!) and then to Statistics. Came home and took my Mum to Linens & Things, Lowes, and then we went to the gym. Yes. The gym. ME. This is the first time I've gone since I "went ill" about a year ago. Strange, nothings changed. Same crappy music, same freaky people. I don't think I'm going to make to much of a habit of it though.
 
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Hmmm....   
11:51pm 16/01/2005
 
mood: My Hair Is Dirty...
Friday I... Don't remember... Oh! I remember now. Went to the mall with my mummy, Target, some shoe store, Steer & Stine for dinner (I'm known by all the employees as "the girl without meat." Hmm... What do they know about my personal life? Alright, alright... They know me by my hamburger order...), and Barnes & Noble. Saturday I... Slept all day? Went with both of my parents to Eduardo's for dinner, where I almost fell out of my chair laughing so hard because we had been carrying on our marry conversation about hardcore porn theaters, catholic priests and their altar boys, and just generally swearing like sailors, when we happened to notice that the guy sitting at the table next to us the whole time stood up to leave and we noticed he was a priest!!! MAN! Now THAT'S hilarious... We went to the crummy $1 theater to see Napoleon Dynamite on account of Brock and Brandon's recomondations. I thought it was ok. Like Jason said, some parts were really hilarious, and then the rest was just kind of eh... My Mom loved it though, she was laughing throughout it. It seems like everyone who sees it is one way or the other: Like Jason and I (just like it ok and laugh at some parts) or love it like Brock, Brandon and my Mom (laugh at the whole thing). And believe me, that's a weird switch up because my Mom doesn't laugh at many movies, and Jason seems to crack up at everything. Anyways. Today I... Slept all day... All that I did was watch TV. Although I did talk to Brandon for awhile (for a HALF AN HOUR!!! Can you believe it? ME, on the phone for more than 30 seconds? I don't know, it's like it's just easy talking to him, not awkward or anything. Kind of like talking to my Mom...). And so, the end of another so-so post...
 
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I Haven't Been Posting Because I Haven't Got Crap To Post About   
03:02am 14/01/2005
 
mood: Meh...
Gee, let me just toss out some random knowledge of my life; Yesterday I had Rock & Roll, food at Camille's, Statistics (where I took a test I probably failed). Today I had Rock & Roll. Redeemed my free soda from a lid, only to get another winner (the single joy in my life). Went to the library, noticed a lot of bums bathing in the bathroom there... Went to Target to buy crap I don't need and probably will never use. Stopped at the thrift store and bought some chinese game where I pirates supposed to pop out after you stab him in a barrel, but I can't read chinese so I don't know how to make it work. Also bought a book on "American Male Homosexuals" from 1951, written by a gay man, thought that would be interesting to see his perspective on sexuality back then. Met my Mom at El Torito for dinner. Now I'm done.
 
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The Days Hassles   
12:52am 12/01/2005
 
mood: Sleepy
I had a major problem this morning. Around 7 am I was awoken by a tremendous cat fight going on outside my bedroom door. Suddenly April and Homer come crashing through, and Homer is basically crushing her with his weight. April's terrified and comes onto my bed for refuge, but I'm not exactelly sure what happened as I was fairly catatonic, but I know that it resulted in April leaving her feces on the pillow next to mine. So here I am running around at 7 trying to dispose of feces and make my bed once again useable. Had to get up a couple of hours later to go to Rock & Roll and watch crap about Elvis (he dyed his hair jet black to try to look like Tony Curtis. He is as far of being as attractive to Tony Curtis as Janet Reno is to Marilyn Monroe). I went and had linner at Quizno's. Had to go to my Statistics to prepare for tomorrows test which I will probably bomb through and through... My Dad called me as I was leaving school, and I had to go pick him up off the side of the freeway, as he had a flat and somehow moronically lost his spare from the boot. Watched the Snake Pit which thoroughly convinces me that I have very deep psychological issues (aside from the surface ones of course), as I have no memory of my childhood except for little odd bits and pieces here and there.
 
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I Just Post Random Crap, Don't I?   
03:20am 11/01/2005
 
mood: Eh...
So, here is some more. All I did today was go to Statistics where I was thoroughly confused and then to Panera Bread for dinner where I think the guy that always seems mad at me over the greek dressing requests may have been hitting on me. Did some illegal transactions that resulted in me getting a refund from Best Buy that had previously been denied. Not much more than crap alright...
 
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Hoorah For Dead People!!!   
01:07am 10/01/2005
 
mood: Pleased
My Mum, Dad and myself went down to the science center today to see the Body Worlds exibit. I, as well as they, for the most part liked it quite a lot. I particularly got a kick out of all the fetuses (they so silly). I was at one point frightened by the gargantuine horse penis (I'm always explaining to Autumn how scary they are when they're erect, but this one you could see all the way up in his abdomen and everything!), but felt better when I saw one of the action bodies in a white straw hat (he was the "performer" or some such nonsense). We spent quite a long time down there, walking around the museum block and looking in basement windows at paleontologists labs and stuff. It was raining a lot, and dark, so it was extra creepy sneaking around to look at the dinosouars and stuff when nobody else was around. Had a blast really. Capped it off with dinner at Mel's Diner.
 
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The Need To Get Away Consumes Me   
12:07am 09/01/2005
 
mood: Indegestion...
Well, let me just quickly recap yesterday. My Mom and I went to Don Cuco's for dinner, then Target. Today my urge to get out of the valley was so strong that I said "god damn it. I'm going down below, and you can join me or not." My Mom joined me. We went and drove around UCLA's campus, because I'm trying to figure out where I want to transfer to. It will probably be there, but I'm still not sure they offer everything I need. It was fun driving around there in the rain, really pretty too. We went to Sallie's, but she wasn't home, so we drove over to her massage parlor, found out she was there, waited a long ass time, but eventually gave up (we just wanted to find out if she had any free movie passes to give away to us). Went to the Sherman Oaks Fashion Square to waste time. Tryed on a million very expensive evening gowns just to see how sexy I could make myself (the answer is not very). But, at least I have some sort of figure now, as small as my breasts still may be (but think about it; a year ago I actually had a hole in the center of my chest because it was caving in so bad, at least now I can tell I'm older than 10). Went over to Sallies house (she was home at this point) and sat around watching Lifetime television while she slept on the couch. After that we went to Jerry's Deli in Studio City for dinner, then came home.
 
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01:54am 07/01/2005
 
mood: Sore Throat And Bronchial Tree
Had Rock & Roll this morning (god, getting up for a 12:30 class is proving to be a lot harder than I expected. Couple of semesters ago I had a 9 am class and that was hard to get to, but I think I'm on a lot more sleeping pills now). Yes, I'm back on the chain gang full blast again. I just feel very alone and uncomfortable at breaks and stuff that I feel like I need to do something besides just stand there. So, naturally my easiest escape from my anxiety is to smoke. It's not that it bothers me that I do it, and I really don't care about my health, but damn it I always get brohnchitis and it hurts to breathe... Anywho, after school I went to the mall for a very very long time. I bought an assload of clothes because I got a lot of crap for christmas which I returned and received gift cards for. I never shop at the mall. This was a totally unusual thing for me to do. I don't really need 5 new sweaters, but oh well... I think I might have fucked my back up pretty bad from carrying around all those bags. I'm in searing pain right now. After being there for 3 or so hours, I went over to El Torito and ate dinner all by my lonesome. But I just got a book for school today (as they just came in today), so I had a lot of reading to catch up on, and what better place to do it than a place that has refillable drinks... Finished watching Dr. Strangelove. Personally I don't see what all the hooplah's about. I thought it was excruciatingly boring. Who would have thought I'd actually not like a Kubrick film? Yeah, I'm bored and lonely right now...
 
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